This morning was hard, really hard. It all started when the boys woke up to find presents in their stockings at the end of their bed and they pointed out that there was nothing in yours. Of course there wasn't, there never will be, but I will always place your stocking on the door handle of your bedroom as long as I live. So we came downstairs to see what Santa had left for us. There was a big pile of presets for Oliver and a big pile of presents for Rowan. There were even presents or me and your daddy. But, in the corner where your presents were for that one and only most magical christmas that you were here with us in 2011, We were all expecting to see a vast empty space, but instead there was a small pile of presents for us to share. In reality I would have loved to have seen a big pile of presents wrapped in lovely pink wrapping paper, this paper would have then been ripped apart and thrown all over the floor with the red paper of Rowans and the blue paper of Oliver's. I would imagine that you would have loved frozen so there would have been every frozen present that you could have ever imagined. But would you have been Team Elsa or Team Anna. I do wonder. So whilst your brothers were opening their presents, I lit a candle for you Lily, a special christmas candle, and another one for all of the Ward 84 and gels that you have joined and welcomed into your new world. It didn't take them long to get all the unwrapping done. Then the fun started while they started to investigate what they had been given and began to play with their wonderful new gifts. But it was hard, and even Oliver was struggling. Eventually we all had a family cuddle in the corner of the settee where you should have been opening your presents. Lots of tears were shed and memories were shared. We miss you. We always will. But you will never be far from our thoughts in everything we do. You are always in our hearts and will always be part of our christmas. Merry Christmas to my wonderful pink princess angel. Love from Mummy xxxxx